Remember Me This

I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, wondering why so many people seem to "have it all", and I remembered a quote from The Science of the Mind textbook that states, "... the answer in NOT that God has responded to some and not to others, but that some have responded to God more than others." (pg. 28)

I take this sentence to heart in a lot of ways. The "poor me" mentality isn't my usual mindset, but I find myself falling into it when I feel cornered or stuck somewhere either mentally or physically. Why is that? Because as a human race we've been conditioned to control our environment rather than to control ourselves. We learn from an early age that our environment is to be manipulated rather than taught how to understand and work with the very things that make us who we are; our mind and soul.

I see this happening more and more. Look at the parents who march themselves into their child's classroom and bully the teachers because their children aren't getting the grades they think they "deserve", or the people who threaten coaches of sports teams because their kids don't get to play all the or the team doesn't win. Notice the people who yell at customer service people because these people are unfortunate enough to be on the front line of what ever news they're delivering, the constant violence in the streets because people want more, etc. More and more people are experiencing depression because of our economy, the sate of the World.... People are lacking the very coping skills we were born with because they don't know any other way to be than to be angry.

I have to remind myself every day, and sometimes every moment!, that I have the ability to make my life what it is. I hold the very power and strength that I ask the Universe to give me right here inside; I just have to remember to use it.

Valentines Day

It's no secret that I loath Valentine's Day. I have ever since I was little; I thought it was silly that there was one day a year set aside to "prove" how much you love someone. I think it was a protection thing vs. an honest dislike of the holiday, but the feeling stuck and I have yet to celebrate the day.

However; this year I decided that I will celebrate it. I plan to spend the day celebrating the love of my family, friends and, of course, the Universe. I will light candles in thanks of the day, and I will take some time to meditate and do some affirmations.

So, in planning for the day I searched the web for some ideas on ways to make Valentine's Day a special day for my family. I want to do a craft or two with Ian, spend some time with my husband just talking, and make a point to call all my friends to chat and catch up.... I was looking for other ideas and, even though it shouldn't matter, I am upset with some things that I came across in regards to Science of the Mind. This website for one, which calls my beliefs a cult. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this because I don't feel it's worth my time, but it saddens me that people can be so closed-minded. It's sad to me that someone who seems to have such a strong belief system could bash another's views though, because isn't one thing religion 'teaches' us is about patience and tolerance? The most ironic thing is that Science of the Mind teaches that every religion has it's place, is to be respected and honored, and that we can all learn from each other's beliefs. Funny how things like that happen.

Challenged!

Alan spoke today, "What Type of Witness Are You?". I love listening to him because he's so dynamic!

He led with the idea that people with big minds talk about concepts, people with average minds talk about events, and people with small minds talk about other people. I almost laughed out loud when he said that because, in thinking back over the last few years, he couldn't be more right when it comes to the company I had been keeping! I was brought back to a few specific instances when I was surround by people who couldn't help but spend the majority of their time talking about other people and, as I continued to stand by them, I got a first-row look into their small-mindedness. From what I've learned, such verbal behavior is usually an indication of the way such people conduct their whole lives, and sadly it seems to be a behavior pattern that doesn't change often.

Another interesting thought brought up was that Spirit will reveal the Truth about us and others if we stop judging appearances. That keeps running through my mind because it's so amazingly simple in theory, but so hard to keep in one's head. In today's society we are bombarded with news stories, images in the media, fast technology where we get receive information from family and friends with lightning speed, not to mention that we are constantly given insight to others' opinions through blogs and other 'personal' formats. It almost impossible form an opinion about something before hearing about someone Else's view of the situation!

One of the greatest things he discussed was the idea that we know our own Truth through experiences. External "testimony" versus internal testimony- meaning we must live consciously our we run the risk of becoming a 'false witness' by not testifying by our own experiences. For instance: If we've heard something and repeated it, not knowing if it's in fact the "Truth" for us because we've never lived it, is that truthful testimony? As he so bluntly put it, "Is that a Truth you're willing to die for?" In essence, it's living by default rather than living by design!

So, here's the challenge he put forth to us today:

1. Refuse to be a small person with a small mind. No gossip!
2. Go on a news fast. Don't fill your day with images and testimony from 'sources' other than yourself! Go with the premise "I know what I need to know when I need to know it."
3. Do 15 minutes of spiritual work a day (reading, meditating, writing... What ever brings you spiritual peace). He then requested that 7.5 minutes of that be meditation.

Think you could follow this? I know a lot of people who couldn't do it! I'm going to try...

-- Jenn

Love

Love was the topic last Sunday. That's a pretty broad subject and one that I'm not too comfortable with to be honest. I feel that people say "I love you," all the time and don't mean it or, if they do mean it at the time, it's usually a fleeting feeling that ends up dissipating or changing form soon after the words are spoken. *Shrug* I know, it's an 'issue' of mine.

Anyway, the whole discussion what wonderful in it's delivery, but two things really stood out in my mind.

The first was the sentiment that noticing our shortcomings in love is a sure sign of potential change. This was a huge thing for me to hear, because for a long time I've been thinking about the way I love. It may sound strange, but I protect myself very carefully and have for a good number of years. It's become very evident in the past four years; ever since having my son in fact. I am terrified of loving someone 100% because the very thought of allowing myself to feel something so deeply and completely and then having it taken away, leaves me with such a sense of dread and fear that I almost can't breathe. I am very aware that I don't love my spouse or my son with abandon and I've been working to change that. I love them the most and the best I can, but I also know that I don't love recklessly and leave my heart wide open to everything. I know some of that is left over from the horrible start my son had in life and the weeks I spent preparing myself to lose him, and I know as far as my spouse goes it has a lot to do with fear of losing him as well, but I also know that I want to let go and love like there is no end in sight. I've gotten close with my son, but every time I experience such an overwhelming rush of emotion I pull myself back because I become terrified. My hope is that, in recognizing that I'm missing so much, I can change this. I know I'm missing out!

The second thing I found so moving was the deliverance of the thought: You can always find a way over the tallest mountain. Even when it looks like you've reached the end of the path and no matter where you turn there are objects blocking you're travel, continuing looking. It may take some time and it may take a little bit of imagination and thinking outside of the norm, but there is always a path, even if it's one that leads straight up and appears to be too difficult to navigate. It isn't, once you put one foot in front of the other.

--- Jenn

May 4th

Rev. Nikki was sick today so the "Roving Rev" Maria filled in. She was great; I really enjoy when I hear 'new' people's delivery of the Science of Mind thought.

Rev. Maria discussed how our minds are like gardens. Now, I know we've all heard that analogy before, but humor me by reading through this because there's a lot to be said for listening to someones viewpoint for half and hour...

"There is a time and a season for every purpose", just like there is a time and a season within our gardens. I really like that mental image because, as I get older, I've found that there is a lot in life that has come and gone. Some things I'm glad to see disappear, but there are other things I'm sad to see end. If I use the above quote to sort of describe the events that cause me sadness, I can see there there really are reasons for the endings. I may wish that I could get these things back again, but in reality their season really has come to end, either because I've changed so much that they no longer hold a place in my life, or the situations themselves were keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.

In going along with those thoughts, there is the premise that forms constantly change. Some forms have to stay the same in order to counteract this phenomenon, the greatest of which is, of course, the Universe, but there are others like love, knowledge.... Because these constants are always constant, we must practice "non-attachment" to those things that do change. This is a hard concept for me to grasp because, in all reality, the way I approach things is hard-driven and 'in it till the end'. Of course, as I think of all the things that have changed these past few years, all of the situations include me giving my whole heart, giving 100% of myself to every one of them. And, why was that? Because I truly viewed them all as "forever," just as I do most things.

In thinking of the mind, it stands to reason that "we get exactly what we plant". Just like gardening, when we 'plant' something (thoughts vs. seeds), the soil doesn't judge or try to change what's planted there; it just cultivates what is. An amazing concept in it's simplicity, but that's what makes it such a great Truth!

Another topic was one about Joy. If we as people aren't experiencing Joy, what's missing? Sometimes we just need to get back to basics in order to recapture that Joy, and sometimes we need a little more, but the fact of the matter is that most times where we're "off center" it's the basics we've forgotten about. Just like when we studied math in school, if we didn't have the basics down, the rest of it just couldn't make sense, right?

Everything we need in life is within us, and just like a seed, we just need to cultivate it to make it bloom. If we could stop thinking "Life would be better when...." and start thinking of how we can bloom where we are, just think of how much happiness and contentment we'd have just by being us!

--Jenn

Nothing Is Real To Us Unless We Make it Real

Yesterday's message was, as usual, right on point for me. Paraphrased, it was that we can't try to shape our lives by trying to manipulate what we need. We spend so much time trying to "fit a square peg in to a round hole" that we miss what is right in front of us! By having such preconceived notions of what is good for us, we sometimes walk right by what is being offered.

I've been working on this a lot the past few months. When I find myself getting focused on one thing, trying to figure out how to make it work without really analysing the problem and all the possibilities, I stop myself and remember that the Universe knows what I need. I have lessons to learn and experiences to be lived, yet the Universe will ultimately provide for me as needed. I have to trust, to have faith, that it will work out just as it should. Don't get me wrong; I do ask for what I want, but I have changed the way of my request. Rather than giving specifics I give a general outline and I make sure to add that what I want must be "for the higher and greater good of everyone involved."

True, the very act of asking for something gives me a sense of control, plus it slows my thought process enough to flip my situation around and find the positive in it. For instance; I've found that when I get disappointed by people's behavior I take a step back and think about why it's happening in my life. What am I learning from it? Is there something that I'm meant to see? Is there somewhere that it's going to lead me? More often than not I find my anger lessening, a greater understanding about the issue occurs, and in turn I get that control over my life back. Now, sometimes I'm slow in finding the answer or the answer ends up being something that I don't want to hear, but I always find the Truth in it at the end.

I have put in to action some of the things that I have learned and come to understand since I started living this Truth and I can honestly say that my life is that much better for it. I have stepped away from situations that were poison to me, distanced myself from people who hurt me or didn't respect my place in their life, and I've managed to see many instances where I've gotten in the Universe's way and, in turn, am learning how to step aside. There is much, much more for me to learn, but I am confident that I am on the right path!

-- Jenn

First Sunday of Advent

Today we lit the first candle of the Advent Wreath: The candle of Hope- the hope of what is to come! In the Church of Religious Science they use the Advent Wreath as a symbolic way to remember some of the people who helped the world get ready for this new awakening of the God Light within us. Each week we will be lighting one candle in gratitude, acknowledging all of the people who allowed the Truth of God's Light to shine through them as willing servants of God life and love.

The discussion today was "Dissolve the Darkness of Discontent" and it was a pretty powerful message. As usual, the lead practitioner stated that we would hear the messages we were meant to hear and, as usual, she was right! I found a few things especially poignant for me due to some things that are going on in my personal life so I thought that I'd share them here in hopes that they may bring someone else some comfort as well.

A very important message today was the validation of peoples sadness around the holidays. Rev. Niki made a special point to remind us that the season holds underlying reminders of loss for a lot of people and that it's important to acknowledge the sadness during this time of year; especially because there is such a pressure from society to happy and full of joy! So, let us remember that when we come in to contact with people we don't know, or even those that we do; we have no way of knowing what sort of unhappiness their hearts may be experiencing.

There was also an interesting message about moving forward in life, that anything that hinders the current of life leaves us only with stagnation. I was thinking bout this a lot because I know many of us feel 'stuck' in our roles sometimes. Be it our role as mother or father, caretaker, workaholic, always cheerful friend, we sometimes feel smothered by the expectations we set forth for ourselves as well as by those that others set for us, be they real or imaginary. I believe that it's important, especially when we feel like this, to push forward as hard as we can. I think that it's these times that truly show us who we are and what we are capable of!

"In the darkness, the deep darkness that can sometimes come forth, lays the opportunity for some of the greatest light."

And so it is.