Alan spoke today, "What Type of Witness Are You?". I love listening to him because he's so dynamic!
He led with the idea that people with big minds talk about concepts, people with average minds talk about events, and people with small minds talk about other people. I almost laughed out loud when he said that because, in thinking back over the last few years, he couldn't be more right when it comes to the company I had been keeping! I was brought back to a few specific instances when I was surround by people who couldn't help but spend the majority of their time talking about other people and, as I continued to stand by them, I got a first-row look into their small-mindedness. From what I've learned, such verbal behavior is usually an indication of the way such people conduct their whole lives, and sadly it seems to be a behavior pattern that doesn't change often.
Another interesting thought brought up was that Spirit will reveal the Truth about us and others if we stop judging appearances. That keeps running through my mind because it's so amazingly simple in theory, but so hard to keep in one's head. In today's society we are bombarded with news stories, images in the media, fast technology where we get receive information from family and friends with lightning speed, not to mention that we are constantly given insight to others' opinions through blogs and other 'personal' formats. It almost impossible form an opinion about something before hearing about someone Else's view of the situation!
One of the greatest things he discussed was the idea that we know our own Truth through experiences. External "testimony" versus internal testimony- meaning we must live consciously our we run the risk of becoming a 'false witness' by not testifying by our own experiences. For instance: If we've heard something and repeated it, not knowing if it's in fact the "Truth" for us because we've never lived it, is that truthful testimony? As he so bluntly put it, "Is that a Truth you're willing to die for?" In essence, it's living by default rather than living by design!
So, here's the challenge he put forth to us today:
1. Refuse to be a small person with a small mind. No gossip!
2. Go on a news fast. Don't fill your day with images and testimony from 'sources' other than yourself! Go with the premise "I know what I need to know when I need to know it."
3. Do 15 minutes of spiritual work a day (reading, meditating, writing... What ever brings you spiritual peace). He then requested that 7.5 minutes of that be meditation.
Think you could follow this? I know a lot of people who couldn't do it! I'm going to try...
-- Jenn
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Love
Love was the topic last Sunday. That's a pretty broad subject and one that I'm not too comfortable with to be honest. I feel that people say "I love you," all the time and don't mean it or, if they do mean it at the time, it's usually a fleeting feeling that ends up dissipating or changing form soon after the words are spoken. *Shrug* I know, it's an 'issue' of mine.
Anyway, the whole discussion what wonderful in it's delivery, but two things really stood out in my mind.
The first was the sentiment that noticing our shortcomings in love is a sure sign of potential change. This was a huge thing for me to hear, because for a long time I've been thinking about the way I love. It may sound strange, but I protect myself very carefully and have for a good number of years. It's become very evident in the past four years; ever since having my son in fact. I am terrified of loving someone 100% because the very thought of allowing myself to feel something so deeply and completely and then having it taken away, leaves me with such a sense of dread and fear that I almost can't breathe. I am very aware that I don't love my spouse or my son with abandon and I've been working to change that. I love them the most and the best I can, but I also know that I don't love recklessly and leave my heart wide open to everything. I know some of that is left over from the horrible start my son had in life and the weeks I spent preparing myself to lose him, and I know as far as my spouse goes it has a lot to do with fear of losing him as well, but I also know that I want to let go and love like there is no end in sight. I've gotten close with my son, but every time I experience such an overwhelming rush of emotion I pull myself back because I become terrified. My hope is that, in recognizing that I'm missing so much, I can change this. I know I'm missing out!
The second thing I found so moving was the deliverance of the thought: You can always find a way over the tallest mountain. Even when it looks like you've reached the end of the path and no matter where you turn there are objects blocking you're travel, continuing looking. It may take some time and it may take a little bit of imagination and thinking outside of the norm, but there is always a path, even if it's one that leads straight up and appears to be too difficult to navigate. It isn't, once you put one foot in front of the other.
--- Jenn
Anyway, the whole discussion what wonderful in it's delivery, but two things really stood out in my mind.
The first was the sentiment that noticing our shortcomings in love is a sure sign of potential change. This was a huge thing for me to hear, because for a long time I've been thinking about the way I love. It may sound strange, but I protect myself very carefully and have for a good number of years. It's become very evident in the past four years; ever since having my son in fact. I am terrified of loving someone 100% because the very thought of allowing myself to feel something so deeply and completely and then having it taken away, leaves me with such a sense of dread and fear that I almost can't breathe. I am very aware that I don't love my spouse or my son with abandon and I've been working to change that. I love them the most and the best I can, but I also know that I don't love recklessly and leave my heart wide open to everything. I know some of that is left over from the horrible start my son had in life and the weeks I spent preparing myself to lose him, and I know as far as my spouse goes it has a lot to do with fear of losing him as well, but I also know that I want to let go and love like there is no end in sight. I've gotten close with my son, but every time I experience such an overwhelming rush of emotion I pull myself back because I become terrified. My hope is that, in recognizing that I'm missing so much, I can change this. I know I'm missing out!
The second thing I found so moving was the deliverance of the thought: You can always find a way over the tallest mountain. Even when it looks like you've reached the end of the path and no matter where you turn there are objects blocking you're travel, continuing looking. It may take some time and it may take a little bit of imagination and thinking outside of the norm, but there is always a path, even if it's one that leads straight up and appears to be too difficult to navigate. It isn't, once you put one foot in front of the other.
--- Jenn
Monday, May 5, 2008
Searching...
I find that whenever someone close to me passes away, I start searching for answers to questions. My father's cousin lost his battle with cancer last night and all day today I've had sobbing fits. I feel much better having found a church I call home and having some better answers, but I'm still a bit lost. And it's not with the question of "where is he now" it's more of thinking of him saying goodbye to all his loved ones this past week and then they in turn saying goodbye to him. He'll never again be able to hold his wife, or see his children or grandchildren smile or hear them laugh. Never be able to watch the sunset or ride out on a boat which was one of his favorite past times. All of that is the hardest part of death for me.
Last week when I found out from my mom how bad he'd gotten, she told me that his wife had said he was depressed and would lay in bed all day. And when he got up out of bed he'd just sit in his chair. A little over a week ago was when they told him to go home and have Hospice come in and that he had a year left. That was only a little over a week ago. I'm wondering if he just gave up the fight. And if he did, I don't blame him at all. I just wonder if having a doctor tell you that, sometimes isn't a help at all. I'm so hoping that his last week was filled with family and love and not pain or sorrow or even regrets.
Even though I have somewhere to go now for answers, I still find myself searching. I'm not sure if I'll ever find the answers.
-Kim
Last week when I found out from my mom how bad he'd gotten, she told me that his wife had said he was depressed and would lay in bed all day. And when he got up out of bed he'd just sit in his chair. A little over a week ago was when they told him to go home and have Hospice come in and that he had a year left. That was only a little over a week ago. I'm wondering if he just gave up the fight. And if he did, I don't blame him at all. I just wonder if having a doctor tell you that, sometimes isn't a help at all. I'm so hoping that his last week was filled with family and love and not pain or sorrow or even regrets.
Even though I have somewhere to go now for answers, I still find myself searching. I'm not sure if I'll ever find the answers.
-Kim
Sunday, May 4, 2008
May 4th
Rev. Nikki was sick today so the "Roving Rev" Maria filled in. She was great; I really enjoy when I hear 'new' people's delivery of the Science of Mind thought.
Rev. Maria discussed how our minds are like gardens. Now, I know we've all heard that analogy before, but humor me by reading through this because there's a lot to be said for listening to someones viewpoint for half and hour...
"There is a time and a season for every purpose", just like there is a time and a season within our gardens. I really like that mental image because, as I get older, I've found that there is a lot in life that has come and gone. Some things I'm glad to see disappear, but there are other things I'm sad to see end. If I use the above quote to sort of describe the events that cause me sadness, I can see there there really are reasons for the endings. I may wish that I could get these things back again, but in reality their season really has come to end, either because I've changed so much that they no longer hold a place in my life, or the situations themselves were keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.
In going along with those thoughts, there is the premise that forms constantly change. Some forms have to stay the same in order to counteract this phenomenon, the greatest of which is, of course, the Universe, but there are others like love, knowledge.... Because these constants are always constant, we must practice "non-attachment" to those things that do change. This is a hard concept for me to grasp because, in all reality, the way I approach things is hard-driven and 'in it till the end'. Of course, as I think of all the things that have changed these past few years, all of the situations include me giving my whole heart, giving 100% of myself to every one of them. And, why was that? Because I truly viewed them all as "forever," just as I do most things.
In thinking of the mind, it stands to reason that "we get exactly what we plant". Just like gardening, when we 'plant' something (thoughts vs. seeds), the soil doesn't judge or try to change what's planted there; it just cultivates what is. An amazing concept in it's simplicity, but that's what makes it such a great Truth!
Another topic was one about Joy. If we as people aren't experiencing Joy, what's missing? Sometimes we just need to get back to basics in order to recapture that Joy, and sometimes we need a little more, but the fact of the matter is that most times where we're "off center" it's the basics we've forgotten about. Just like when we studied math in school, if we didn't have the basics down, the rest of it just couldn't make sense, right?
Everything we need in life is within us, and just like a seed, we just need to cultivate it to make it bloom. If we could stop thinking "Life would be better when...." and start thinking of how we can bloom where we are, just think of how much happiness and contentment we'd have just by being us!
--Jenn
Rev. Maria discussed how our minds are like gardens. Now, I know we've all heard that analogy before, but humor me by reading through this because there's a lot to be said for listening to someones viewpoint for half and hour...
"There is a time and a season for every purpose", just like there is a time and a season within our gardens. I really like that mental image because, as I get older, I've found that there is a lot in life that has come and gone. Some things I'm glad to see disappear, but there are other things I'm sad to see end. If I use the above quote to sort of describe the events that cause me sadness, I can see there there really are reasons for the endings. I may wish that I could get these things back again, but in reality their season really has come to end, either because I've changed so much that they no longer hold a place in my life, or the situations themselves were keeping me from growing into the person I want to be.
In going along with those thoughts, there is the premise that forms constantly change. Some forms have to stay the same in order to counteract this phenomenon, the greatest of which is, of course, the Universe, but there are others like love, knowledge.... Because these constants are always constant, we must practice "non-attachment" to those things that do change. This is a hard concept for me to grasp because, in all reality, the way I approach things is hard-driven and 'in it till the end'. Of course, as I think of all the things that have changed these past few years, all of the situations include me giving my whole heart, giving 100% of myself to every one of them. And, why was that? Because I truly viewed them all as "forever," just as I do most things.
In thinking of the mind, it stands to reason that "we get exactly what we plant". Just like gardening, when we 'plant' something (thoughts vs. seeds), the soil doesn't judge or try to change what's planted there; it just cultivates what is. An amazing concept in it's simplicity, but that's what makes it such a great Truth!
Another topic was one about Joy. If we as people aren't experiencing Joy, what's missing? Sometimes we just need to get back to basics in order to recapture that Joy, and sometimes we need a little more, but the fact of the matter is that most times where we're "off center" it's the basics we've forgotten about. Just like when we studied math in school, if we didn't have the basics down, the rest of it just couldn't make sense, right?
Everything we need in life is within us, and just like a seed, we just need to cultivate it to make it bloom. If we could stop thinking "Life would be better when...." and start thinking of how we can bloom where we are, just think of how much happiness and contentment we'd have just by being us!
--Jenn
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Happiness Project
Our Church is doing some exciting things right now, one of which is the "Happiness Project".
There are two big jars set up in the back of the Church, one for 'happy things' and one for things you're letting go of. We fill out little slips of paper for each appropriate thought, and drop it into the jar to symbolize our inner growth and notice of things that are good.
Then we have the "Happiness Commandments" to create. We have twelve that we're supposed to come up with, and then in mid-June we're going to all come together and share our creations. What a great way to spend Spring; thinking about all the good and the good way to live and conduct ourselves!
I thought this was a wonderful exercise because, as I sat down to think, it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be! How often do we really spend time thinking of happy ways to live our lives? I'm sure we all have the usual, "Be nice to others, treat people how you want to be treated," ideas, but to find twelve is quite a test.
I came up with seven yesterday. I had an event occur that really upset me, so I decided it was the perfect time to work on something like this. So, here are my seven:
1. Remember: They're having their own life experiences
2. What doesn't effect me shouldn't affect me
3. There's a positive lesson to every experience if we just take the time to find it.
4. Listen; don't just hear what people are telling you
5. You can only live your own life, not anyone else's
6. Act as you want to feel
7. Intuition is important. Remember to listen to yourself
That took me an hour.
I encourage you to try it yourselves! Try it and see how you do; I'd be interested to hear about it.
- Jenn
There are two big jars set up in the back of the Church, one for 'happy things' and one for things you're letting go of. We fill out little slips of paper for each appropriate thought, and drop it into the jar to symbolize our inner growth and notice of things that are good.
Then we have the "Happiness Commandments" to create. We have twelve that we're supposed to come up with, and then in mid-June we're going to all come together and share our creations. What a great way to spend Spring; thinking about all the good and the good way to live and conduct ourselves!
I thought this was a wonderful exercise because, as I sat down to think, it was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be! How often do we really spend time thinking of happy ways to live our lives? I'm sure we all have the usual, "Be nice to others, treat people how you want to be treated," ideas, but to find twelve is quite a test.
I came up with seven yesterday. I had an event occur that really upset me, so I decided it was the perfect time to work on something like this. So, here are my seven:
1. Remember: They're having their own life experiences
2. What doesn't effect me shouldn't affect me
3. There's a positive lesson to every experience if we just take the time to find it.
4. Listen; don't just hear what people are telling you
5. You can only live your own life, not anyone else's
6. Act as you want to feel
7. Intuition is important. Remember to listen to yourself
That took me an hour.
I encourage you to try it yourselves! Try it and see how you do; I'd be interested to hear about it.
- Jenn
Sunday, April 27, 2008
April 27th
Today's sermon was... different. Kim, my mom, and I left there kind of scratching our heads in wonderment, trying to make sense of the words we heard.
The discussion was about "Bones and Legos" and how multi-million dollar companies are spending $7,000 to have two-day workshops where they build 'abstract manifestations' of real working situations. That led to the story in the Bible about bones coming together to become human... and at first I didn't get it.
As I've mulled it over today I think I have an idea of what she was trying to communicate, at least in my own mind: It's sort of like in life when you have piles of things and you aren't sure how to create a final project/result. You look and think and make plans in your mind... but it's really your faith and belief that guides you toward a solution, just like having a pile of bones snap into place.
I wanted to give a brief update on my a/c situation as well: Turns out it was only a $250 fix. Not only that, we got a great quote on a new unit that will save us about 50% on our fuel bill. Not a bad result for someone who didn't even know how they were going to pay for it to get fixed!
The discussion was about "Bones and Legos" and how multi-million dollar companies are spending $7,000 to have two-day workshops where they build 'abstract manifestations' of real working situations. That led to the story in the Bible about bones coming together to become human... and at first I didn't get it.
As I've mulled it over today I think I have an idea of what she was trying to communicate, at least in my own mind: It's sort of like in life when you have piles of things and you aren't sure how to create a final project/result. You look and think and make plans in your mind... but it's really your faith and belief that guides you toward a solution, just like having a pile of bones snap into place.
I wanted to give a brief update on my a/c situation as well: Turns out it was only a $250 fix. Not only that, we got a great quote on a new unit that will save us about 50% on our fuel bill. Not a bad result for someone who didn't even know how they were going to pay for it to get fixed!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Needing to Hear
Today they spoke about finding your oasis in the desert. It was a wonderful sermon, and it was just what I needed to hear.
I've been feeling a little down the past few days, worrying about finances and other such things, and then on Friday night our air conditioning broke. Living in Florida without a/c is almost unthinkable, and when it happened all I could do was cry because I know that a new a/c unit is thousands of dollars. We don't have hundreds of dollars, let alone thousands! So, this event coupled with some other things that have happened led me to give up. I am usually the one to find positive in everything, to point out what good can come of something, but this was all too much to bear. I even said, "That's it. I don't care anymore. We never get ahead as hard as we try, so I'm over it. I'm done."
I wasn't going to go to Church this afternoon (a sure sign that I needed to go) but my mom comes with me now and I know she needs it. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago (her second time) and I know she finds a lot of peace within the walls of the Church, part of which comes from us going together, so I got myself together to go.
I'm glad I did! The discussion centered around mirages and how they are real concrete things that exist somewhere but appear somewhere else, and how we as humans allow the same occurrence within our own lives to manifest in doubt and fear. For instance; The air conditioner breaking this weekend was true and real enough, but my fear about not having the money to fix it is the mirage; the image of my uncertainty manifesting as disbelief. This disbelieving in God's ability to provide what I need is in itself a mirage! Because of this I know I need to reevaluate myself and my feelings, my inner self and my confidence that I will have the means for the repairs. The other part of this scenario, the means of not getting one's self trapped into following a mirage, is to stop focusing on the horizon. That is, stop looking at the future and the "what ifs" and "if x than y," because that takes the focus off of the now and on the Truth that we know and feel within ourselves.
As I thought more about this, I realized a few interesting things. One is that the temperatures here in Florida are unseasonably low, so we haven't even needed the a/c and won't for a few days. Secondly, by the time we do need it, my overtime should come through and we should be OK. Thirdly, why am I starting to doubt the Universe now? In all the years past we have struggled financially but we have survived. We have had close calls many, many times, and somehow the Universe has provided for us in one way or another. Where some people have a lot of money at their disposal and lack in other areas of their life, we seem to lack in the finance area, yet thrive in all the other major aspects of life. This is what I am thankful for, and I have to remind myself that money really isn't everything, even though it is nice to have.
It's amazing how frustration and fear can manifest itself in so many different ways! I recognize it in myself when I get angry because I know that's how I deal with emotions... What about you? How do you deal with emotions of unrest and unknowing? Is it something you can change? Is it something you want to change, or are you comfortable expressing and feeling things the way you do? How can you go about changing?....
--Jenn
I've been feeling a little down the past few days, worrying about finances and other such things, and then on Friday night our air conditioning broke. Living in Florida without a/c is almost unthinkable, and when it happened all I could do was cry because I know that a new a/c unit is thousands of dollars. We don't have hundreds of dollars, let alone thousands! So, this event coupled with some other things that have happened led me to give up. I am usually the one to find positive in everything, to point out what good can come of something, but this was all too much to bear. I even said, "That's it. I don't care anymore. We never get ahead as hard as we try, so I'm over it. I'm done."
I wasn't going to go to Church this afternoon (a sure sign that I needed to go) but my mom comes with me now and I know she needs it. She was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago (her second time) and I know she finds a lot of peace within the walls of the Church, part of which comes from us going together, so I got myself together to go.
I'm glad I did! The discussion centered around mirages and how they are real concrete things that exist somewhere but appear somewhere else, and how we as humans allow the same occurrence within our own lives to manifest in doubt and fear. For instance; The air conditioner breaking this weekend was true and real enough, but my fear about not having the money to fix it is the mirage; the image of my uncertainty manifesting as disbelief. This disbelieving in God's ability to provide what I need is in itself a mirage! Because of this I know I need to reevaluate myself and my feelings, my inner self and my confidence that I will have the means for the repairs. The other part of this scenario, the means of not getting one's self trapped into following a mirage, is to stop focusing on the horizon. That is, stop looking at the future and the "what ifs" and "if x than y," because that takes the focus off of the now and on the Truth that we know and feel within ourselves.
As I thought more about this, I realized a few interesting things. One is that the temperatures here in Florida are unseasonably low, so we haven't even needed the a/c and won't for a few days. Secondly, by the time we do need it, my overtime should come through and we should be OK. Thirdly, why am I starting to doubt the Universe now? In all the years past we have struggled financially but we have survived. We have had close calls many, many times, and somehow the Universe has provided for us in one way or another. Where some people have a lot of money at their disposal and lack in other areas of their life, we seem to lack in the finance area, yet thrive in all the other major aspects of life. This is what I am thankful for, and I have to remind myself that money really isn't everything, even though it is nice to have.
It's amazing how frustration and fear can manifest itself in so many different ways! I recognize it in myself when I get angry because I know that's how I deal with emotions... What about you? How do you deal with emotions of unrest and unknowing? Is it something you can change? Is it something you want to change, or are you comfortable expressing and feeling things the way you do? How can you go about changing?....
--Jenn
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)