Warning - this post could be long since it's been a while for me when it comes to posting on this blog so just bear with me. :)
I hadn't been to church before last night in a really long time. Between soccer and other commitments and then Sean being gone for work, I just haven't been able to get there. And I have felt that feeling of peace slowly slipping away over time. I know I've stated before, whether it was on here or one of my other blogs that since last summer, I had such an overwhelming feeling of peace and happiness in my heart and in my gut that it felt awesome. I don't know how else to describe it. I know it was a bunch of things happening at once that made me feel that way: finally finding a place to go (a church) where I felt at home at and not like an outsider; forming an awesome friendship with someone whom I believe we were meant to form that friendship at that time; reading book after book and learning that I've already been on my way to enlightenment or awakening or consciousness and I didn't even know it; or just sharing stories with my new found friend of our pasts and our presents and even our futures. But something happened, as again I've said before, around the holidays in December where I felt that feeling slipping away. It could be because of a number of things: my parents health, the stress of the holidays, too much going on. Whatever it was, since then that feeling in my gut and in my heart hasn't been felt.
Until last night. Our church had a meditation and prayer service since it was Good Friday and I am so happy I went. I NEEDED last night more then I originally thought. Before getting there Jenn called me to let me know there were only 3 cars in the parking lot and 1 was hers. In any other situation, I'm horrible in small numbers, especially when it comes to people I don't really know. And as she's telling me this I waited for that nervous feeling in my gut to start and to tell me to flee; to say to her "OK, let's skip this and just go right to dinner". But that feeling didn't come. Maybe it was because I knew I needed to be there and I know how at peace I have felt in the past just from being there. I got there and there were only 6 of us. I sat down in my chair and started talking to Jenn and slowly felt my shoulders relaxing.
As Rev. Nikki started talking, I felt once more at home. Her voice is so soothing and the music that was playing was so relaxing, it just kind of all came together for me. She told the story of what Good Friday meant and then we all entered into a prayer and meditation where instead of talking about the 7 crosses that Jesus had to "wear" she talked about 8 comments or suggestions while we prayed and meditated. What is surprising to me is that for that meditation I was able to close my eyes and not worry there there were only 4 other people in the room that I didn't know - something that a year or so ago I would have been mortified with and the thought of closing my eyes would have scared me. I didn't give it a second thought.
As we meditated and I had my eyes closed and I listened to Rev. Nikki talk a feeling I've never experienced before came over me: first it was like my whole body was kind of gelling together if that makes sense; like my two hands (which were touching each other) had become one. And then it was like I couldn't even feel my body at all. It was beautiful and awesome and I felt whole and at peace with myself and the world.
What Rev. Nikki would do with those 8 suggestions was to say it and then be still so that we could all pray about it and meditate over it and know that it is or it can be. One of the 8 suggestions she said was (and this isn't word for word since I can't remember it) to love everyone and to not hate. And as she stopped talking to let us ponder it, I thought about that. I definitely don't love everyone - right now. But there is no one that I hate. I may not understand people and their actions, nor will ever be compatible with some, but I can honestly say I do not hate. I may get pissed off at people at times, (like I was at the guy honking at me last night on my way to church) but I let myself feel that feeling (which is the ego talking) and then let it go. I truly don't believe that we, as human beings, can allow hatred to enter our lives if we want to be happy.
We were there for a little over an hour and I walked out of there feeling that peace in my gut and my heart that had been gone since the holidays. I felt in control again. I came home and instead of going right to sleep, I read the book I've been reading called A New Earth and learned about the "pain body" and it just all clicked - my "pain body", which had been dormant since last summer, had returned for whatever reason over the holidays and it was what was making me miserable. (I'll get into the "pain body" in another post but not today.) But after last night at church and now knowing what the "pain body" is and how to control it, I'm hoping to not only keep this feeling of peace that I have but to help it grow within myself and my family and friends.
(Edited to add an hour after writing this):
The Daily Motivation for today was so fitting for me that I cried when I read it (happy tears).
Daily Motivator
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Your moment to fulfill
This day is too valuable to waste. The people in your life are too beautiful to ignore.
Take a moment to remember how fortunate you are to be you. Take a look around, with your eyes lovingly and enthusiastically open to the possibilities.
Most of what you fear does not even exist. Much of what you love is closer than you realize.
You are just one small step away from being on the path toward your most treasured dream. You are just one brief thought away from understanding the richness that is your life.
You have traveled a long way to be where you are. With every step you have gained something of real and lasting value.
Now is a day to move forward with more experience, knowledge and wisdom than ever before. Now is your moment to realize and fulfill the miracle that is your life.
-- Ralph Marston
And so it is....
-Kim
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, February 29, 2008
The Laughing Club of India
The week before Jenn went back to work I went over to her house to watch some films and they were all great! What awesome messages they had! But for this post, I want to focus on one that really made me think. It was a documentary called The Laughing Club of India and it was inspiring! They have clubs over in India (and also here in America) called Laughing Clubs and what they do is meet in a park and just laugh! It takes any stress or tension they might be feeling and makes it feel like it's nothing. They laugh in many different ways and there is usually a leader who tells them how to laugh (with your tongue out, like a lion or tiger, or just a hearty laugh). And watching that, makes you laugh.
I've thought about this documentary since watching it that day, but with our schedules hadn't had a chance to research it. Until yesterday. Our schedules have been so crazy that I haven't been to church in a while and now with Sean gone won't get there for another 6 weeks (actually more since once he gets back we're off to NC for spring break). So I'm trying to keep up with it my own way and it's hard. This weekend I'm going to come up with some kind of routine for daily meditation, reading and just sticking to it.
Anyway, back to the Laughter Club. This week has been hard with Sean gone. And yesterday my parents left to go back to Jacksonville so I was feeling sad and lonely. Last night at dinner I was just in a really bad mood. At one point the kids just started laughing for no reason. It was that hearty, kids laugh too that makes you smile and laugh yourself. And that reminded me of the Laughing Club. So I joined in and started laughing which got the kids roaring with laughter. And it felt SO good! It completely turned my mood around and the rest of the night we played a new game Kieran got for his birthday and just had fun. I have to admit it felt a bit weird at first and I kept thinking to myself "if people saw us now they'd think we were nuts" but that feeling didn't last long. If I can remember to do this whenever I'm feeling sad or depressed or just blah, I know it will turn my mood around completely and make a bad day - better.
Laughter really is the best medicine!
-Kim
I've thought about this documentary since watching it that day, but with our schedules hadn't had a chance to research it. Until yesterday. Our schedules have been so crazy that I haven't been to church in a while and now with Sean gone won't get there for another 6 weeks (actually more since once he gets back we're off to NC for spring break). So I'm trying to keep up with it my own way and it's hard. This weekend I'm going to come up with some kind of routine for daily meditation, reading and just sticking to it.
Anyway, back to the Laughter Club. This week has been hard with Sean gone. And yesterday my parents left to go back to Jacksonville so I was feeling sad and lonely. Last night at dinner I was just in a really bad mood. At one point the kids just started laughing for no reason. It was that hearty, kids laugh too that makes you smile and laugh yourself. And that reminded me of the Laughing Club. So I joined in and started laughing which got the kids roaring with laughter. And it felt SO good! It completely turned my mood around and the rest of the night we played a new game Kieran got for his birthday and just had fun. I have to admit it felt a bit weird at first and I kept thinking to myself "if people saw us now they'd think we were nuts" but that feeling didn't last long. If I can remember to do this whenever I'm feeling sad or depressed or just blah, I know it will turn my mood around completely and make a bad day - better.
Laughter really is the best medicine!
-Kim
Monday, January 28, 2008
Nothing Is Real To Us Unless We Make it Real
Yesterday's message was, as usual, right on point for me. Paraphrased, it was that we can't try to shape our lives by trying to manipulate what we need. We spend so much time trying to "fit a square peg in to a round hole" that we miss what is right in front of us! By having such preconceived notions of what is good for us, we sometimes walk right by what is being offered.
I've been working on this a lot the past few months. When I find myself getting focused on one thing, trying to figure out how to make it work without really analysing the problem and all the possibilities, I stop myself and remember that the Universe knows what I need. I have lessons to learn and experiences to be lived, yet the Universe will ultimately provide for me as needed. I have to trust, to have faith, that it will work out just as it should. Don't get me wrong; I do ask for what I want, but I have changed the way of my request. Rather than giving specifics I give a general outline and I make sure to add that what I want must be "for the higher and greater good of everyone involved."
True, the very act of asking for something gives me a sense of control, plus it slows my thought process enough to flip my situation around and find the positive in it. For instance; I've found that when I get disappointed by people's behavior I take a step back and think about why it's happening in my life. What am I learning from it? Is there something that I'm meant to see? Is there somewhere that it's going to lead me? More often than not I find my anger lessening, a greater understanding about the issue occurs, and in turn I get that control over my life back. Now, sometimes I'm slow in finding the answer or the answer ends up being something that I don't want to hear, but I always find the Truth in it at the end.
I have put in to action some of the things that I have learned and come to understand since I started living this Truth and I can honestly say that my life is that much better for it. I have stepped away from situations that were poison to me, distanced myself from people who hurt me or didn't respect my place in their life, and I've managed to see many instances where I've gotten in the Universe's way and, in turn, am learning how to step aside. There is much, much more for me to learn, but I am confident that I am on the right path!
-- Jenn
I've been working on this a lot the past few months. When I find myself getting focused on one thing, trying to figure out how to make it work without really analysing the problem and all the possibilities, I stop myself and remember that the Universe knows what I need. I have lessons to learn and experiences to be lived, yet the Universe will ultimately provide for me as needed. I have to trust, to have faith, that it will work out just as it should. Don't get me wrong; I do ask for what I want, but I have changed the way of my request. Rather than giving specifics I give a general outline and I make sure to add that what I want must be "for the higher and greater good of everyone involved."
True, the very act of asking for something gives me a sense of control, plus it slows my thought process enough to flip my situation around and find the positive in it. For instance; I've found that when I get disappointed by people's behavior I take a step back and think about why it's happening in my life. What am I learning from it? Is there something that I'm meant to see? Is there somewhere that it's going to lead me? More often than not I find my anger lessening, a greater understanding about the issue occurs, and in turn I get that control over my life back. Now, sometimes I'm slow in finding the answer or the answer ends up being something that I don't want to hear, but I always find the Truth in it at the end.
I have put in to action some of the things that I have learned and come to understand since I started living this Truth and I can honestly say that my life is that much better for it. I have stepped away from situations that were poison to me, distanced myself from people who hurt me or didn't respect my place in their life, and I've managed to see many instances where I've gotten in the Universe's way and, in turn, am learning how to step aside. There is much, much more for me to learn, but I am confident that I am on the right path!
-- Jenn
Monday, January 14, 2008
"The Way It Works"
"Nothing is real to us unless we make it real. Nothing can touch us unless we let it touch us. Refuse to have feelings hurt. Refuse to receive anyone's condemnation. Believe and feel that you are wonderful. This is not conceit- it is the Truth."
--- Science of the Mind Textbook, page 307-- Holmes
That was the opening prayer on Sunday. It was truly ironic that this message was given to me not two hours before hearing some news that plunged me into an emotional tailspin. My grief was so real and so raw I could feel my heart ripping apart, and I could hear my soul weep. I allowed myself some time to feel the anger and self-pity, but then I gathered myself together and did my best to put in to practice what I have been learning.
The sermon this week was, as usual, fantastic. I listened with my whole being for the full hour, almost as if I knew that something was amiss in the world outside of the church. It was a great hour and I left there feeling such peace, just as always.
Of the most meaningful to me this week were the following:
When we feel lost or lack of wisdom, look within. We all have it, we just need to learn how to access it. We need to believe that we have the wisdom, this Spirit, just as we believe gravity and it's existence. I thought this was a very powerful thought and I've done a lot of ruminating on this the past day or two. To believe in something, to trust something because your soul just feels it, is an amazing thing. The thought of being so grounded in Faith to the point of not questioning it and living your life like it just is, amazes me. This is what I strive for; the constant feeling that "it" is within me!
Two of the best quotes I've heard in a while were uttered during this service. "A double minded man gets nowhere," and, "The archer hit the target in part by pulling away and in part by letting go." I won't taint your interpretations of these quotes, but what I got out of them were pretty poignant!
-- Jenn
--- Science of the Mind Textbook, page 307-- Holmes
That was the opening prayer on Sunday. It was truly ironic that this message was given to me not two hours before hearing some news that plunged me into an emotional tailspin. My grief was so real and so raw I could feel my heart ripping apart, and I could hear my soul weep. I allowed myself some time to feel the anger and self-pity, but then I gathered myself together and did my best to put in to practice what I have been learning.
The sermon this week was, as usual, fantastic. I listened with my whole being for the full hour, almost as if I knew that something was amiss in the world outside of the church. It was a great hour and I left there feeling such peace, just as always.
Of the most meaningful to me this week were the following:
When we feel lost or lack of wisdom, look within. We all have it, we just need to learn how to access it. We need to believe that we have the wisdom, this Spirit, just as we believe gravity and it's existence. I thought this was a very powerful thought and I've done a lot of ruminating on this the past day or two. To believe in something, to trust something because your soul just feels it, is an amazing thing. The thought of being so grounded in Faith to the point of not questioning it and living your life like it just is, amazes me. This is what I strive for; the constant feeling that "it" is within me!
Two of the best quotes I've heard in a while were uttered during this service. "A double minded man gets nowhere," and, "The archer hit the target in part by pulling away and in part by letting go." I won't taint your interpretations of these quotes, but what I got out of them were pretty poignant!
-- Jenn
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
"In Confidence, Trust & Faith, I Let Go of the Problem & I Receive the Answer"
I've been thinking about the questions our Reverend asked during the service on December 30th. I'm not sure if I'll ever have "the" answer, but I can definitely review my life the past year and apply the questions she asked to how I lived my life.
Did I improve my life? I can honestly say that I have. When I lost my first pregnancy in February I thought my life was over. I lived in a fog for a while, and then when I lost my second pregnancy in May I was just numb. I struggled a lot but I also used that point in my life to really study what my feelings of the Universe were, what "faith" meant to me, and what possible benefit I could find among the ruins of those two experiences. Then, mid-year I had some challenges socially and I spent a good deal of time questioning my own worth, as well as trying to figure out the true meaning of friendship. When I lost my job in September, well, that was an amazing thing to me. My priorities ended up snapping in to place, and I realized some amazing things about myself. From that point onward I have been working on my own life and making sure that I am 100% present in it. I have discovered that I spent a good deal of energy worrying about external factors that were beyond my control when, in actuality, I needed to spend more time within; that doing so would only better my outlook on the situations that seemed confusing or bleak.
Did I apply myself to the spiritual truth? This is a little bit harder for me to answer because I am still learning with the 'spiritual truth' fully encompasses, but I do think that I've started down the correct path! Finding Church, good supportive friends, and learning how I want to live my life was a terrific beginning...
Do I have plans toward wholeness? I do! I'm starting classes at Church and I have devoted more time to what makes me, me. I read more, I think about the "big picture" of life, and I am constantly working toward bettering myself and my reactions vs. situations and conditions that only include me (rather than those that are mine alone).
-- Jenn
Did I improve my life? I can honestly say that I have. When I lost my first pregnancy in February I thought my life was over. I lived in a fog for a while, and then when I lost my second pregnancy in May I was just numb. I struggled a lot but I also used that point in my life to really study what my feelings of the Universe were, what "faith" meant to me, and what possible benefit I could find among the ruins of those two experiences. Then, mid-year I had some challenges socially and I spent a good deal of time questioning my own worth, as well as trying to figure out the true meaning of friendship. When I lost my job in September, well, that was an amazing thing to me. My priorities ended up snapping in to place, and I realized some amazing things about myself. From that point onward I have been working on my own life and making sure that I am 100% present in it. I have discovered that I spent a good deal of energy worrying about external factors that were beyond my control when, in actuality, I needed to spend more time within; that doing so would only better my outlook on the situations that seemed confusing or bleak.
Did I apply myself to the spiritual truth? This is a little bit harder for me to answer because I am still learning with the 'spiritual truth' fully encompasses, but I do think that I've started down the correct path! Finding Church, good supportive friends, and learning how I want to live my life was a terrific beginning...
Do I have plans toward wholeness? I do! I'm starting classes at Church and I have devoted more time to what makes me, me. I read more, I think about the "big picture" of life, and I am constantly working toward bettering myself and my reactions vs. situations and conditions that only include me (rather than those that are mine alone).
-- Jenn
Monday, December 31, 2007
New Years Eve...
Yesterday during church Rev. Nikki talked about New Years Eve and how it's a time to let go of the past; a time for change. She gave us 4 questions to ask ourselves today (and I hope I wrote them down correctly because I was writing pretty quickly. Jenn, if I got some wrong feel free to correct them!!!). :)
1. Look at this past year. Did you achieve the goals that you wanted to? And if not why?
2. Did you improve your position in life materially?
3. Did you apply yourself to spiritual truths that you know to be true? Did you add any new ideas?
4. What are your plans for the new year? What things would you like to complete or start in 2008?
I'm going to think about these questions in the next few days and then I'll be back to write my answers. I'd like to welcome anyone that reads this to answer on here as well. (And this goes for any of our posts).
I am almost done with my visualization board and I have my gratitude rock. The gratitude rock is a rock that I found a long time ago with my children. It's a white rock that we all found one day. I can't remember where we found it or the circumstances surrounding it but I had kept it in my jean jacket pocket because it was something to help kill time if we ever needed it (it's almost like chalk and writes on concrete). I hadn't worn this jacket in probably about a year and when I wore it a few weeks back and put my hand in the pocket, out came that rock. I thought it was very fitting to use as my gratitude object. (Now to just get it out of that jacket and into my pocket book - something I carry with me everyday).
I thought this week being it's the beginning of a new year we could try something to help us start out the new year in a positive way. It's a quote from Ernest Holmes on page 21 of his Creative Mind and Success book: "Refuse to see the negative in anyone. Refuse to let yourself misunderstand or be misunderstood. Know that everyone wants you to have the best. Then you will find things just as you wish them to be."
It's sometimes hard to always find the positive in things. It's sometimes hard to start a new habit, especially a good one. So don't go into it thinking it will happen over night because you will only be setting yourself up for failure. But, if you try and make that conscious effort to do what is said in the above quote, I guarantee it will eventually become something natural to you and you will find your days more fulfilled.
I found the following quote online this morning and because of the sermon yesterday in church and because it is New Years Eve, I found it very fitting. I hope you do as well:
"Never fade
Whatever you fully experience, you never need to leave behind. Whatever you worry about losing, you never did have to begin with.
Without change, life would not exist. With every change is the opportunity to become more fully alive.
The days and weeks and years come to an end. And yet it is always now.
The artifacts and remnants that you associate with the good times will fade and rust and decay, eventually to disappear. Yet the goodness and joy of the authentic experiences will grow ever stronger.
There is no reason to be sad about the fact that time has passed. There is every reason to find joy in the real treasures that you will always retain from that time.
Learn to quickly let go of the meaningless, superficial things that will soon be gone anyway. Invest your spirit and your experience in the timeless values that you know will never fade."
-- Ralph Marston
And so it is.....
1. Look at this past year. Did you achieve the goals that you wanted to? And if not why?
2. Did you improve your position in life materially?
3. Did you apply yourself to spiritual truths that you know to be true? Did you add any new ideas?
4. What are your plans for the new year? What things would you like to complete or start in 2008?
I'm going to think about these questions in the next few days and then I'll be back to write my answers. I'd like to welcome anyone that reads this to answer on here as well. (And this goes for any of our posts).
I am almost done with my visualization board and I have my gratitude rock. The gratitude rock is a rock that I found a long time ago with my children. It's a white rock that we all found one day. I can't remember where we found it or the circumstances surrounding it but I had kept it in my jean jacket pocket because it was something to help kill time if we ever needed it (it's almost like chalk and writes on concrete). I hadn't worn this jacket in probably about a year and when I wore it a few weeks back and put my hand in the pocket, out came that rock. I thought it was very fitting to use as my gratitude object. (Now to just get it out of that jacket and into my pocket book - something I carry with me everyday).
I thought this week being it's the beginning of a new year we could try something to help us start out the new year in a positive way. It's a quote from Ernest Holmes on page 21 of his Creative Mind and Success book: "Refuse to see the negative in anyone. Refuse to let yourself misunderstand or be misunderstood. Know that everyone wants you to have the best. Then you will find things just as you wish them to be."
It's sometimes hard to always find the positive in things. It's sometimes hard to start a new habit, especially a good one. So don't go into it thinking it will happen over night because you will only be setting yourself up for failure. But, if you try and make that conscious effort to do what is said in the above quote, I guarantee it will eventually become something natural to you and you will find your days more fulfilled.
I found the following quote online this morning and because of the sermon yesterday in church and because it is New Years Eve, I found it very fitting. I hope you do as well:
"Never fade
Whatever you fully experience, you never need to leave behind. Whatever you worry about losing, you never did have to begin with.
Without change, life would not exist. With every change is the opportunity to become more fully alive.
The days and weeks and years come to an end. And yet it is always now.
The artifacts and remnants that you associate with the good times will fade and rust and decay, eventually to disappear. Yet the goodness and joy of the authentic experiences will grow ever stronger.
There is no reason to be sad about the fact that time has passed. There is every reason to find joy in the real treasures that you will always retain from that time.
Learn to quickly let go of the meaningless, superficial things that will soon be gone anyway. Invest your spirit and your experience in the timeless values that you know will never fade."
-- Ralph Marston
And so it is.....
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Daily Motivator December 30, 2007
(I had put this on my own blog but it only seems fitting to be here on this one)
I got chills when I read this below. (I have a daily motivator on my homepage that changes every day - hence the word daily - lol). This is almost exactly what was said in church this morning (or what I at least got out of the sermon) and is so true! She talked about reflecting on the past year and how everyone makes mistakes. But we shouldn't dwell on them but rather move forward from them. Turn a negative into a positive. To keep moving forward - the past is just that, the past and is now history. We live in the today and the now.
Time to be your best
When things seem to be at their worst is the ideal time for you to be at your best. When the outlook is decidedly negative that's the time you need to be aggressively positive.
When the situation is difficult and getting worse, there's no need to deny reality or hide from the truth. Neither is there any need, however, to get pulled down with the negativity.
The greatest opportunities come from the most difficult problems. In times of great challenge, moving positively forward -- even if by just a little bit -- can dramatically alter the momentum for the better. And then that momentum can grow quickly.
Keep going. Keep moving steadily forward, especially when circumstances seem to be working against you. Remember -- that's when you can make the most meaningful positive difference.
-Kim
I got chills when I read this below. (I have a daily motivator on my homepage that changes every day - hence the word daily - lol). This is almost exactly what was said in church this morning (or what I at least got out of the sermon) and is so true! She talked about reflecting on the past year and how everyone makes mistakes. But we shouldn't dwell on them but rather move forward from them. Turn a negative into a positive. To keep moving forward - the past is just that, the past and is now history. We live in the today and the now.
Time to be your best
When things seem to be at their worst is the ideal time for you to be at your best. When the outlook is decidedly negative that's the time you need to be aggressively positive.
When the situation is difficult and getting worse, there's no need to deny reality or hide from the truth. Neither is there any need, however, to get pulled down with the negativity.
The greatest opportunities come from the most difficult problems. In times of great challenge, moving positively forward -- even if by just a little bit -- can dramatically alter the momentum for the better. And then that momentum can grow quickly.
Keep going. Keep moving steadily forward, especially when circumstances seem to be working against you. Remember -- that's when you can make the most meaningful positive difference.
-Kim
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