Monday, January 28, 2008

Nothing Is Real To Us Unless We Make it Real

Yesterday's message was, as usual, right on point for me. Paraphrased, it was that we can't try to shape our lives by trying to manipulate what we need. We spend so much time trying to "fit a square peg in to a round hole" that we miss what is right in front of us! By having such preconceived notions of what is good for us, we sometimes walk right by what is being offered.

I've been working on this a lot the past few months. When I find myself getting focused on one thing, trying to figure out how to make it work without really analysing the problem and all the possibilities, I stop myself and remember that the Universe knows what I need. I have lessons to learn and experiences to be lived, yet the Universe will ultimately provide for me as needed. I have to trust, to have faith, that it will work out just as it should. Don't get me wrong; I do ask for what I want, but I have changed the way of my request. Rather than giving specifics I give a general outline and I make sure to add that what I want must be "for the higher and greater good of everyone involved."

True, the very act of asking for something gives me a sense of control, plus it slows my thought process enough to flip my situation around and find the positive in it. For instance; I've found that when I get disappointed by people's behavior I take a step back and think about why it's happening in my life. What am I learning from it? Is there something that I'm meant to see? Is there somewhere that it's going to lead me? More often than not I find my anger lessening, a greater understanding about the issue occurs, and in turn I get that control over my life back. Now, sometimes I'm slow in finding the answer or the answer ends up being something that I don't want to hear, but I always find the Truth in it at the end.

I have put in to action some of the things that I have learned and come to understand since I started living this Truth and I can honestly say that my life is that much better for it. I have stepped away from situations that were poison to me, distanced myself from people who hurt me or didn't respect my place in their life, and I've managed to see many instances where I've gotten in the Universe's way and, in turn, am learning how to step aside. There is much, much more for me to learn, but I am confident that I am on the right path!

-- Jenn

Monday, January 14, 2008

"The Way It Works"

"Nothing is real to us unless we make it real. Nothing can touch us unless we let it touch us. Refuse to have feelings hurt. Refuse to receive anyone's condemnation. Believe and feel that you are wonderful. This is not conceit- it is the Truth."

--- Science of the Mind Textbook, page 307-- Holmes

That was the opening prayer on Sunday. It was truly ironic that this message was given to me not two hours before hearing some news that plunged me into an emotional tailspin. My grief was so real and so raw I could feel my heart ripping apart, and I could hear my soul weep. I allowed myself some time to feel the anger and self-pity, but then I gathered myself together and did my best to put in to practice what I have been learning.

The sermon this week was, as usual, fantastic. I listened with my whole being for the full hour, almost as if I knew that something was amiss in the world outside of the church. It was a great hour and I left there feeling such peace, just as always.

Of the most meaningful to me this week were the following:

When we feel lost or lack of wisdom, look within. We all have it, we just need to learn how to access it. We need to believe that we have the wisdom, this Spirit, just as we believe gravity and it's existence. I thought this was a very powerful thought and I've done a lot of ruminating on this the past day or two. To believe in something, to trust something because your soul just feels it, is an amazing thing. The thought of being so grounded in Faith to the point of not questioning it and living your life like it just is, amazes me. This is what I strive for; the constant feeling that "it" is within me!

Two of the best quotes I've heard in a while were uttered during this service. "A double minded man gets nowhere," and, "The archer hit the target in part by pulling away and in part by letting go." I won't taint your interpretations of these quotes, but what I got out of them were pretty poignant!

-- Jenn

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

"In Confidence, Trust & Faith, I Let Go of the Problem & I Receive the Answer"

I've been thinking about the questions our Reverend asked during the service on December 30th. I'm not sure if I'll ever have "the" answer, but I can definitely review my life the past year and apply the questions she asked to how I lived my life.

Did I improve my life? I can honestly say that I have. When I lost my first pregnancy in February I thought my life was over. I lived in a fog for a while, and then when I lost my second pregnancy in May I was just numb. I struggled a lot but I also used that point in my life to really study what my feelings of the Universe were, what "faith" meant to me, and what possible benefit I could find among the ruins of those two experiences. Then, mid-year I had some challenges socially and I spent a good deal of time questioning my own worth, as well as trying to figure out the true meaning of friendship. When I lost my job in September, well, that was an amazing thing to me. My priorities ended up snapping in to place, and I realized some amazing things about myself. From that point onward I have been working on my own life and making sure that I am 100% present in it. I have discovered that I spent a good deal of energy worrying about external factors that were beyond my control when, in actuality, I needed to spend more time within; that doing so would only better my outlook on the situations that seemed confusing or bleak.

Did I apply myself to the spiritual truth? This is a little bit harder for me to answer because I am still learning with the 'spiritual truth' fully encompasses, but I do think that I've started down the correct path! Finding Church, good supportive friends, and learning how I want to live my life was a terrific beginning...

Do I have plans toward wholeness? I do! I'm starting classes at Church and I have devoted more time to what makes me, me. I read more, I think about the "big picture" of life, and I am constantly working toward bettering myself and my reactions vs. situations and conditions that only include me (rather than those that are mine alone).

-- Jenn