I did a lot of spiritual work today. I didn't have the kids with me, so I decided to use my free time for me rather than on the house. I went to the book store and spent 2 hours there, first to wander around the spiritual and religion sections, and then to get a coffee and read Pure Inspiration Magazine.
There was a lot of great information in there, as usual, and quite a few articles hit me right in the heart. It's amazing how much of "me" I can read into articles about other people; it just goes to show that we aren't as separate from each other as we might think we are!
One of my favorite things I read was an article about Dr. Catherine Northrup. I've heard her name a few times, but I never knew she was such an inspiration in the medical field. She is a paramount figure in Womens health, but her message is true about all human kind. She realizes the holistic approach to our health is so important; that our minds are connected to our bodies in ways that people don't think about very often, and that can lead to a lot of illnesses that may be avoided. We all know it's true, because when we feel badly about ourselves or about situations in our lives, we tend to get sicker easier. Her philosopy is very real and very spiritual... Quite an interesting Lady.
There was so much circling my brain when I left the store! I felt completely recharged and refreshed, and I even picked up 2 new books to add to all the others I'm reading ;-)
-- Jenn
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I Get It
I was in a dark place for a while, but I managed to face my demons and come out the other side alright. Part was due to positive thinking, but the other part of it was due to actually facing an adverse situation in my life. In this particular situation I was forced to confront it because I had no other alternative, and it ended up working out better than I could have imagined.
I have a horrible habit of running away from what scares me or makes me unhappy rather than facing it head on. I know it's a bad habit because 9 times out of 10 it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, and all I ended up accomplishing was wasting hours of my life worrying about something that was out of my control in the first place. I've worked long and hard to try and change my approach to things, and I have to say that it appears to be working. Thank goodness, because I've had a lot of tests against my resolve lately!
I'm not angry any more. I've had this simmering anger toward certain things in my life, and no matter how I tried to change my views or approach the situation in a different way it just didn't matter. I'd be hurt, angry, confused, scared... all those toxic emotions that make us so unhappy in our lives. But, in facing the part of my life that was so depressing to me the past month and then having a wonderful weekend full of family and friends at my childrens' birthday party, it really proved to me that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. I have more control over my life than I had realized (in my mind I had known, but in my heart I guess I didn't because I actually felt it this weekend and finally understood), and I am surrounded by more love than I realized. The other stuff, the bad/hurt feelings, are no longer a consideration for me. I am worth so much more than that, and there is so much that is wonderful around me that I just don't care to waste a moment on the other 'stuff.' If it hurts me or makes me feel bad then I'm done with it. I won't allow the external to control me any more, because I am stronger than that. I am NOT a result, but I AM a cause!!!!!
And so it is.
--Jenn
I have a horrible habit of running away from what scares me or makes me unhappy rather than facing it head on. I know it's a bad habit because 9 times out of 10 it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, and all I ended up accomplishing was wasting hours of my life worrying about something that was out of my control in the first place. I've worked long and hard to try and change my approach to things, and I have to say that it appears to be working. Thank goodness, because I've had a lot of tests against my resolve lately!
I'm not angry any more. I've had this simmering anger toward certain things in my life, and no matter how I tried to change my views or approach the situation in a different way it just didn't matter. I'd be hurt, angry, confused, scared... all those toxic emotions that make us so unhappy in our lives. But, in facing the part of my life that was so depressing to me the past month and then having a wonderful weekend full of family and friends at my childrens' birthday party, it really proved to me that I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. I have more control over my life than I had realized (in my mind I had known, but in my heart I guess I didn't because I actually felt it this weekend and finally understood), and I am surrounded by more love than I realized. The other stuff, the bad/hurt feelings, are no longer a consideration for me. I am worth so much more than that, and there is so much that is wonderful around me that I just don't care to waste a moment on the other 'stuff.' If it hurts me or makes me feel bad then I'm done with it. I won't allow the external to control me any more, because I am stronger than that. I am NOT a result, but I AM a cause!!!!!
And so it is.
--Jenn
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Remember Me This
I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, wondering why so many people seem to "have it all", and I remembered a quote from The Science of the Mind textbook that states, "... the answer in NOT that God has responded to some and not to others, but that some have responded to God more than others." (pg. 28)
I take this sentence to heart in a lot of ways. The "poor me" mentality isn't my usual mindset, but I find myself falling into it when I feel cornered or stuck somewhere either mentally or physically. Why is that? Because as a human race we've been conditioned to control our environment rather than to control ourselves. We learn from an early age that our environment is to be manipulated rather than taught how to understand and work with the very things that make us who we are; our mind and soul.
I see this happening more and more. Look at the parents who march themselves into their child's classroom and bully the teachers because their children aren't getting the grades they think they "deserve", or the people who threaten coaches of sports teams because their kids don't get to play all the or the team doesn't win. Notice the people who yell at customer service people because these people are unfortunate enough to be on the front line of what ever news they're delivering, the constant violence in the streets because people want more, etc. More and more people are experiencing depression because of our economy, the sate of the World.... People are lacking the very coping skills we were born with because they don't know any other way to be than to be angry.
I have to remind myself every day, and sometimes every moment!, that I have the ability to make my life what it is. I hold the very power and strength that I ask the Universe to give me right here inside; I just have to remember to use it.
I take this sentence to heart in a lot of ways. The "poor me" mentality isn't my usual mindset, but I find myself falling into it when I feel cornered or stuck somewhere either mentally or physically. Why is that? Because as a human race we've been conditioned to control our environment rather than to control ourselves. We learn from an early age that our environment is to be manipulated rather than taught how to understand and work with the very things that make us who we are; our mind and soul.
I see this happening more and more. Look at the parents who march themselves into their child's classroom and bully the teachers because their children aren't getting the grades they think they "deserve", or the people who threaten coaches of sports teams because their kids don't get to play all the or the team doesn't win. Notice the people who yell at customer service people because these people are unfortunate enough to be on the front line of what ever news they're delivering, the constant violence in the streets because people want more, etc. More and more people are experiencing depression because of our economy, the sate of the World.... People are lacking the very coping skills we were born with because they don't know any other way to be than to be angry.
I have to remind myself every day, and sometimes every moment!, that I have the ability to make my life what it is. I hold the very power and strength that I ask the Universe to give me right here inside; I just have to remember to use it.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Unwind
I'm wondering if apathy really exists, or if repeating "I don't care" inside your head just reinforces the feeling that you actually do care? Science of the Mind teaches us that once you actually manifest a thought it begins to have motion, but I'm wondering if the form changes depending on the thought around the statement.
I know this sounds cryptic, but I've been having some trouble lately and decided to adopt an "I don't care" attitude about a lot of things. This all occurred due to feeling like I was boxed in to a few different things, and I figured that the "easy way out" might serve me well. It has for the most part, but at some times I get this almost overwhelming feeling of sadness that it about takes my breath away. If it's due to a response of something than I obviously do care, so am I spinning my wheels for nothing?
I'm also wondering (now) if having an "I don't care" attitude is really smart. If the Truth says that you are your beliefs, will it then stand to reason that I will become dead to feelings? That's pretty scary.
I know this sounds cryptic, but I've been having some trouble lately and decided to adopt an "I don't care" attitude about a lot of things. This all occurred due to feeling like I was boxed in to a few different things, and I figured that the "easy way out" might serve me well. It has for the most part, but at some times I get this almost overwhelming feeling of sadness that it about takes my breath away. If it's due to a response of something than I obviously do care, so am I spinning my wheels for nothing?
I'm also wondering (now) if having an "I don't care" attitude is really smart. If the Truth says that you are your beliefs, will it then stand to reason that I will become dead to feelings? That's pretty scary.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sometimes a Duck
Kim and I went away, just the two of us, this past weekend. It was a chance to renew and refresh, and I wasn't disappointed. I got to do a lot of spiritual reading, a lot of thinking and, best of all, a lot of laughing.
It rained most of the weekend which was fine by us, but on Sunday morning it started to clear up. I got a cup of coffee in the morning and took a walk by the lake to watch the sun come up and to do some meditation. I felt centered pretty quickly, so I decided to walk on the pier and just look at what nature had to say. What follows is what I wrote when I got back to the room:
"I went down to the lake this morning because the sun decided to make an appearance. I was just standing there, looking at the reeds and lily pads, when noticed a duck on the dock. She was your typical Mallard, but what struck me was where she was; right next to one of the Swan Boats.
I watched her preen herself, this plain brown duck, and began wondering if she felt at all shadowed by the impressive Swan behind her. I wondered if she were trying to pretty herself up so she may resemble the Swan, if she was comforted by just being in the presence of the Swan even though she was just an average duck, or if she was jealous of the swan...
Suddenly she spread her wings and flew off over the lake, a perfect image of grace and beauty. In that moment I realized how foolish my thinking had been, both in regards to the duck and to my own situation in life.
The Swan Boat was beautiful, no question. It was clean, majestic, and obviously well cared for. This pretty-to-look-at boat was created with the idea of completing one goal: to provide safe travels around the lake for guests while making a profit for the resort. It manages to do the job daily, and does it repeatedly in order to maximize the return for the resort, all while remaining beautiful.
So, when does the Swan get to spread it's wings? Well, obviously it can't. Here we have a boat made to look like a gorgeous bird, yet it can't do the one thing that makes birds unique. It's stuck making a profit while at the will of someone other than itself- a slave to someone else's vision of perfection.
But, what about the duck? Ordinary as she appeared, she ended up being extraordinary. She is the one who is happy... and free."
It rained most of the weekend which was fine by us, but on Sunday morning it started to clear up. I got a cup of coffee in the morning and took a walk by the lake to watch the sun come up and to do some meditation. I felt centered pretty quickly, so I decided to walk on the pier and just look at what nature had to say. What follows is what I wrote when I got back to the room:
"I went down to the lake this morning because the sun decided to make an appearance. I was just standing there, looking at the reeds and lily pads, when noticed a duck on the dock. She was your typical Mallard, but what struck me was where she was; right next to one of the Swan Boats.
I watched her preen herself, this plain brown duck, and began wondering if she felt at all shadowed by the impressive Swan behind her. I wondered if she were trying to pretty herself up so she may resemble the Swan, if she was comforted by just being in the presence of the Swan even though she was just an average duck, or if she was jealous of the swan...
Suddenly she spread her wings and flew off over the lake, a perfect image of grace and beauty. In that moment I realized how foolish my thinking had been, both in regards to the duck and to my own situation in life.
The Swan Boat was beautiful, no question. It was clean, majestic, and obviously well cared for. This pretty-to-look-at boat was created with the idea of completing one goal: to provide safe travels around the lake for guests while making a profit for the resort. It manages to do the job daily, and does it repeatedly in order to maximize the return for the resort, all while remaining beautiful.
So, when does the Swan get to spread it's wings? Well, obviously it can't. Here we have a boat made to look like a gorgeous bird, yet it can't do the one thing that makes birds unique. It's stuck making a profit while at the will of someone other than itself- a slave to someone else's vision of perfection.
But, what about the duck? Ordinary as she appeared, she ended up being extraordinary. She is the one who is happy... and free."
Sunday, August 30, 2009
My Moment
I had a "WooHoo" moment earlier today. I had a few mini "woohoo" moments while on vacation this past week, but I had a major one today.
We came home from vacation a day early so that we could "relax" before the chaos of this week begins. My son starts Kindergarten tomorrow (which is a disaster because he's starting a week late which means they had to unroll him and we have to re-enroll him tomorrow), and we still have some things to do in preparation for that. Anyway, we got home and found out our air conditioning was broken. Living in Florida this is NOT a great thing to have happen any time of the year, and in the summer it's enough to make even the most easy-going person scream. I was mildly annoyed, but remembered that we lived through it a month ago and we could live through it again. Which we did.
This morning my husband went into the attic (read, crawl space) to see what was going on. He had to go to the store to purchase a ShopVac because the water was going where it wasn't supposed to. We hefted it up the ladder to the "attic" and he sucked a good 4 gallons out, then handed the ShopVac down to me, then I had the job of lugging it to the sink to empty it. We did it one more time, and as he was working the ShopVac slipped through the ceiling opening and crashed to the floor. I felt it brush my hair on the way down, and as I watched it open and spill gallons of water onto the floor, the first thought in my head was, "Thank God!"
That was my "WooHoo" moment. Where before there would have been 4 letter words and accusations there was instead a feeling of calm and thankfulness. I actually took a moment to say "thank you" that I hadn't been a fraction of an inch closer to the ladder, because we surly would have been on the way to the hospital. I gave a heart-felt "thank you" for the safety of my daughter who was about 5 feet from the event, my son who was safe, and a "thank you" that my husband hadn't had his hand wrapped in the ShopVac hose and fallen as well.
Even while cleaning up the mess I was smiling because my floors are clean now, the a/c is working, and we'll be laughing about this in a few weeks.
The Universe is kind.
-- Jenn
We came home from vacation a day early so that we could "relax" before the chaos of this week begins. My son starts Kindergarten tomorrow (which is a disaster because he's starting a week late which means they had to unroll him and we have to re-enroll him tomorrow), and we still have some things to do in preparation for that. Anyway, we got home and found out our air conditioning was broken. Living in Florida this is NOT a great thing to have happen any time of the year, and in the summer it's enough to make even the most easy-going person scream. I was mildly annoyed, but remembered that we lived through it a month ago and we could live through it again. Which we did.
This morning my husband went into the attic (read, crawl space) to see what was going on. He had to go to the store to purchase a ShopVac because the water was going where it wasn't supposed to. We hefted it up the ladder to the "attic" and he sucked a good 4 gallons out, then handed the ShopVac down to me, then I had the job of lugging it to the sink to empty it. We did it one more time, and as he was working the ShopVac slipped through the ceiling opening and crashed to the floor. I felt it brush my hair on the way down, and as I watched it open and spill gallons of water onto the floor, the first thought in my head was, "Thank God!"
That was my "WooHoo" moment. Where before there would have been 4 letter words and accusations there was instead a feeling of calm and thankfulness. I actually took a moment to say "thank you" that I hadn't been a fraction of an inch closer to the ladder, because we surly would have been on the way to the hospital. I gave a heart-felt "thank you" for the safety of my daughter who was about 5 feet from the event, my son who was safe, and a "thank you" that my husband hadn't had his hand wrapped in the ShopVac hose and fallen as well.
Even while cleaning up the mess I was smiling because my floors are clean now, the a/c is working, and we'll be laughing about this in a few weeks.
The Universe is kind.
-- Jenn
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Crossroads
Sometimes it's hard to be a grownup. Harder still is the knowledge of what should be done for the right reasons vs. what you want to do for the wrong reason. But, even harder than that is when those thoughts (and the emotions involved with them) tangle together until it's almost impossible to tell where one ends and the other begins.
I'm going through this right now. I'm trying to make sense of my relationships with people, and the excruciating part is trying to decipher what affects me and for what reason. I keep reminding myself to stay positive, to find the positive side of each situation that I find myself encountering, and most of all I try to keep the thought of "everything happens as it should" in the forefront of my mind. However, it's becoming harder and harder to do this when I find myself getting angry. I'm not sure if "angry" is even the correct word to use; I think frustrated is more accurate. I feel boxed in to a corner in some ways because by taking action to remove myself from a lot of the very situations that are causing me to feel this way I will be causing of a lot more 'stuff' than what I'm encountering now. In the long run it may be better for me, but I'm not sure if I want to travel the road that comes before resolution.
-- Jenn
I'm going through this right now. I'm trying to make sense of my relationships with people, and the excruciating part is trying to decipher what affects me and for what reason. I keep reminding myself to stay positive, to find the positive side of each situation that I find myself encountering, and most of all I try to keep the thought of "everything happens as it should" in the forefront of my mind. However, it's becoming harder and harder to do this when I find myself getting angry. I'm not sure if "angry" is even the correct word to use; I think frustrated is more accurate. I feel boxed in to a corner in some ways because by taking action to remove myself from a lot of the very situations that are causing me to feel this way I will be causing of a lot more 'stuff' than what I'm encountering now. In the long run it may be better for me, but I'm not sure if I want to travel the road that comes before resolution.
-- Jenn
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