Assumptions

At church, we've just finished a series on The Four Agreements. I'm constantly reminding myself of the agreements, "Don't take anything personally," and "Don't make assumptions," because they seem to govern most everything. In particular, both of these came to light recently, and I got to see how these agreements could have changed the outcome of the whole situation. It's rare that we get to observe these sorts of 'laws' proven so clearly! I'll share the event because it's so clear, even though I usually don't share personal things here, because it's so clearly illustrates these principals!

I have a circle of friends who ended up having a falling out. I'm friends with almost all of them still, but we don't get together as a unit anymore, and there are still some hurt feelings years later. We're friends online, and since the virtual world is not at all private, things can be seen by everyone just about, and that's where the trouble started. One my closest friends and I have an inside joke where we'll write a single word to the other when something strikes us as funny, or we're annoyed at family or a friend and can't express it because the other isn't around to call, etc. I wrote that word to my friend where everyone else could see it, and a specific person assumed it was about them, turned the whole thing into a huge deal, and ended up hurting feelings of other people and closing the door on some relationships. Had they not assumed there would have been no way to take it personally, and they could have avoided all the bad feelings and negativity entirely!

Of course like most changes in our path of life, there has been a lot of good that's come of this, but I still find it sad that it was all caused by someone taking something personally based on an assumption. Ironic, yes, but still sad because it all could have been avoided.