Rolling Stone

A lot of things are changing in my life, and with change comes a lot of uncertainty and confusion. I've had quite a few really nice things happen the past 2 weeks or so, and I've also had some not-so-nice things occur. However, I have found that the bad are easier to accept than they used to be. I used to dwell; mull over things in my head until I'd make myself sick. I wonder what I could do to "fix" a problem, what had happened to cause the "bad thing" to happen, what should be done in the future to not let it happen again... But now I don't do that so much. I find it much easier to move forward, and it's a bit scary. I'm so used to the familiar knot in my stomach that I'm nervous when it doesn't follow an adverse event. Sick as that is, it's the truth.

I find that when I'm upset about something I consider three things: 1) Is what happened the Truth of the situation? 2) Did I act in malice? 3) Was it a mistake that I could have prevented in any way? If the answers are "no," then I move on. I can't fix people's perceptions of things, and I can't change something that I did (or did not do) when my intention was nothing but pure. I may give the situation some more thought, but I try very had to not let it become all-consuming. Learning experience, yes. Hurtful reminder, no.

I got a comment from my instructor last night that wounded my psyche a bit. It was a comment that could have ended way before the hurtful statement, but I find 2 good points to this. The first is that I certainly won't make the same mistake again, and I know that it was a stupid mistake, but not one that would have caused anyone harm if it occurred in "the real world." So, I'll take that and roll with it- roll forward that is

New Beginnings

I am part of something so amazing that I can hardly believe it!

When I finally found "my" Church, I was so amazed that there was actually a place where I belonged. It had taken me years (and years) to find such a place, so I became as involved as I could by attending the classes and the services.

Strangely enough there came a time when I started feeling a bit, well, uncomfortable, for lack of a better word. The energy wasn't the same; I felt almost as if I were an impostor or that I just didn't quite fit into the mold. I started missing services here and there, then more and more frequently... I didn't know what was up but something just wasn't right. I began to feel displaced and confused spiritually again, and I continued to hope that something was just around the corner for me.

Wow. Was it ever!!!

I'm now helping to launch an amazing new vision of a spiritual center. I am so excited and so fulfilled that I just know the Universe brought me to the original center to point me in the direction of this new, amazing beginning! The creator, Alan Vukas, is the main reason I fell in love with the Church I used to attend, and now that he's starting his own vision, well, I can't help but be almost beside myself with excitement. And, the fact that he wants my input? WOW!