Rolling Stone

A lot of things are changing in my life, and with change comes a lot of uncertainty and confusion. I've had quite a few really nice things happen the past 2 weeks or so, and I've also had some not-so-nice things occur. However, I have found that the bad are easier to accept than they used to be. I used to dwell; mull over things in my head until I'd make myself sick. I wonder what I could do to "fix" a problem, what had happened to cause the "bad thing" to happen, what should be done in the future to not let it happen again... But now I don't do that so much. I find it much easier to move forward, and it's a bit scary. I'm so used to the familiar knot in my stomach that I'm nervous when it doesn't follow an adverse event. Sick as that is, it's the truth.

I find that when I'm upset about something I consider three things: 1) Is what happened the Truth of the situation? 2) Did I act in malice? 3) Was it a mistake that I could have prevented in any way? If the answers are "no," then I move on. I can't fix people's perceptions of things, and I can't change something that I did (or did not do) when my intention was nothing but pure. I may give the situation some more thought, but I try very had to not let it become all-consuming. Learning experience, yes. Hurtful reminder, no.

I got a comment from my instructor last night that wounded my psyche a bit. It was a comment that could have ended way before the hurtful statement, but I find 2 good points to this. The first is that I certainly won't make the same mistake again, and I know that it was a stupid mistake, but not one that would have caused anyone harm if it occurred in "the real world." So, I'll take that and roll with it- roll forward that is