Letting go has never been easy for me. I'm not sure if it's because I have a fear of failure and by "letting go" I feel as if I've failed, or if it's because I'm afraid of missing something, but it's become clear to me that it is definitely because I'm afraid of something. I am aware that I hold on to things much longer than is healthy, and I'm trying to become better at making a conscious choice to allow things to flow out of my life that no longer benefit me.
With that in mind, I said "good-bye" to a relationship that I've had for about 6 years. It's been a strange and rocky road, and I've lived through more than my share of heartache and hurt feelings. Of course there were good times, amazing discoveries and a lot of laughter, but when I look back over the past few years, there hasn't been much good or happiness. I was sort of letting things be in an effort to let the waters continue to be still, but then something happened to show me that I really needed to let go; I needed to let myself be free of whatever ties where holding me to this relationship.
So I did. And an amazing thing happened that proved I was ready, that I really have learned that it's okay to let go: I found my ability to focus on who loves me and supports me outweighs my focus on those things that upset me or those that dislike me for whatever reason. I was so afraid of being left with what if and why that I didn't want to take that final step and let go! I have finally accepted the fact that I can't fix everyone, I can't mold them into the people I want them to be, and that it's okay to not be there for everyone if they can't return the same emotional support as I give.
It's okay!
-- Jenn
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